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How To Tell True Love from Fake By Alicia R Norman | 07-12-2007 http://www.drdating.com

I saw this question posted in a forum and, since I have always felt that "what is love..." is probably one of the best (and most often asked), relationship questions out there, I wanted to answer it.

I have been in a loving marriage for a number of years, but before my darling, I ran into a lot of fakers along the way. I have also seen men and women in beautiful, long lasting relationships. One couple I knew had been married for 62 years, and even so, the love was so apparent between them, that it warmed the heart.

I have also seen men and women who play far too many games with one another, the cause of constant turmoil and struggle.

Below are the top ten signs of true and fake love.

1. True Love is always open and honest, even when upset, fake love plays games, hides their feelings and tries to manipulate the emotions of others to gain the upper hand.
2. True Love is self-sacrificing, fake love only wants what it wants
3. True Love gives from the heart, fake love gives because it wants something in return
4. True Love forgives, fake love seeks vengeance
5. True Love appreciates you for who you are, fake love tries to change you into their perfect ideal
6. True Love is romantic intimacy and love making, fake love is just sex
7. True Love tries to resolve conflict, fake love tries to prove it is right
8. True Love lets go of hurts, fake love harbors resentment
9. True Love gives you the freedom, fake love is controlling
10. True Love listens, fake love only talks

My husband and I live by these principles and, if at all possible, everyday I grow to love him more, even after an argument. Example, we recently had a fight, after which, we were both able to come to one another and work out why we were upset. It feels good to know that I can be angry and still be loved. It feels good to know that we can talk, even after we disagree, and give love.

I have often said that the main mistake people make when entering relationships is thinking about what they can gain and not what they can give. Certainly, we should know for what reasons we desire companionship, but we must remember that we are bringing another human being into our circle, complete with their own experiences, points of view, ideas, wants and needs. It's not about having steady sex, or financial security-it is about being able to talk, even twenty-five years into a relationship.

Finding genuine love is no easy task, there will be numerous blocks and bumps in the road. If you maintain your optimism, and are vigilant, you will find your love and inevitably become the example of true, and not fake, love.