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Teen Dating By Donald Saunders | 06-08-2008 http://www.free-articles-zone.com

Teen Dating Does Not Have To Mean Having Sex

This may well seem a strange thing to say but a large number of parents do not appreciate how crucial it is to teach teenagers that dating and sex are not one and the same. Unfortunately many teenagers simply take it for granted that sex is a natural part of dating and a quick look at magazines and television aimed at teens gives a clear idea of why this is the case. Do not assume that your children know the difference between dating and sex and ensure that you clearly communicate this message to them.

Try to teach your children the difference between dating and sex from an early age and strengthen this message often. Above all, help your teens to learn that dating means getting to know other people emotionally and not simply physically.

Teenage children will often have a 'single track mind' and you will have to suggest other things which they can do when dating rather than simply focusing their thoughts on having sex. This may seem silly but you will be astonished at how often teenagers opt for sex as an option simply because they are bored and cannot come up with anything better to occupy their time. So, as crazy as it may seem you really will have to recommend things that your teenagers can do on a date to enjoy themselves. If you can get them to keep busy enough then there is a very good chance that they will end up having to say no less often.

Several parents instruct their children on how to say no to sex and give them a long string of excuses or retorts. The is fair enough but a quip only tends to work once and simply brushing off the idea with a quip is only putting the question off and leaving the door open for the idea to keep coming up time and again. The solution therefore is to instruct your child to simply say no clearly and firmly and that, though they may want to give reasons, they should not have to do so and merely saying no is sufficient.

If you find yourself in the situation in which a teenager has already experimented with sex then you might feel that it is too late to talk to them about saying no. This is undoubtedly not the case. Many teenagers think that once they have had sex once they cannot reasonably refuse to do so again. The mere fact that they have had sex does not mean that this can simply be 'crossed off' their development list and you will need to make it clear that they they are free to refuse sex if they feel ill at ease. You also need to discuss with them the fact that having sex should always be something of significance and special and that considerable myth surrounds the importance of their initial sexual encounter.

While you are talking about the importance of establishing relationships on a great deal more than just sex, it is also essential to combine this with instructing your teenagers about safe sex practices. No matter how much you may wish to do so you are not always going to be able to prevent your children from having sex. You can however provide yourself with some peace of mind by trying to ensure that your teenagers remain safe, even when they choose not to follow your advice to stand stand their ground and make sensible choices.

Author: Donald Saunders

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